The Top 10 Rules for Proposing (in no particular order)
By Diego J Suarez—Sales Coordinator—Bill Hansen Catering
There comes a time in every man’s life (and ladies too!) where you just know that you’re ready to ask your significant other to spend the rest of your life with you… Shortly after that though will come thoughts of liquor induced comas, the joys of firing squads, and dare I say, even a little excitement? This is an important time in your life, and theirs, and you shouldn’t just throw caution to the wind and pray that things go well. With a little preparation and some serious thought, you can create a moment that the two of you will cherish forever, and your significant other can brag about to make their friends jealous about your awesomeness! The following is a simple and straightforward look at our Top 10 “Rules” for proposing, enjoy!
Don’t Bring Too Much Alcohol Into The Mix
It’s clear that not all of us were built to stomach such an incredible show of emotion without a little help from somewhere. Granted, holding a séance and channeling your heroic great, great grandfather from the civil war may help but it’s probably a bad idea and will ultimately result in no courage and you looking like a nut. The next best thing is a little Dutch Courage. Notice I stressed, little. A couple shots, a couple beers and done. Don’t go crazy overdoing it, wait for the bachelor/bachelorette party for that. You want to be coherent, able to tell this person how deeply you feel for them, how you want to spend the rest of your life together and then be able to remember all of it years down the road when you are recalling the tale to everyone you know and meet.
Don’t Propose Unless You’re Committed To Setting A Date
Folks, the fact that we’re preparing to commit the rest of our lives is irrelevant here. Everyone that looks forward to getting married, doesn’t want to get proposed to only to find out that the person proposing has no intention of nailing down a firm date. When you ask, and they say yes, you better be ready for the hard question once the “proposal high” wears off, “WHEN? You don’t need to go into this thing knowing when but just be prepared to set a date and solidify your undying commitment.
Ask Dad (or Parents’) Permission
Don’t you think that if you ever have a child you might want someone to ask for your blessing before stealing your child away from you forever? Thought so… Seriously though, this is a no-brainer. Asking for permission to marry someone’s son/daughter is a great way to bond with your future in-laws and let them know that you value them. If dad or mom aren’t in the picture, maybe it’s a sibling or the person who is most important in their life. Make the effort to reach out, and even if they were to say no, at least you made the effort and your significant other will know it. (Plus, then you’ll know who not to trust as well as who to volunteer for that 2 year long stint with Greenpeace in Antarctica)
Get Down On One Knee
There are universal signals for everything. From clutching your throat while choking to cupping your hands together in a heart shape when you think of Taylor Swift. Getting down on one knee is instantly recognizable as the universal sign of “I’m about to be proposed to!” Just because a vast majority of people in this world think that chivalry is dead, they’re wrong and this is one small way to show them. Do the right thing, get down on one knee and let your person and everyone around know, that you’re proposing to the one you love and you don’t care if it hurts to stand up afterwards!
Pick A Memorable Location
When picking a memorable location, you should definitely think of a place that either means something to the two of you, or is somewhere magical that the two of you can return to years later. When I say this, don’t think Disney World just because I said “magical”. It may in fact be the right place for you, but come to your own darn conclusions! The reason I mention being able to return years later is because if you propose in your rental apartment, odds are that the then current occupants will not simply allow you to waltz in once a year and relive your glorious wedding proposal. Instead, maybe choose a park, go on a hike, or even just go to an intimate dinner at your favorite restaurant.
Speak From The Heart
This is a toughie… I know that most men right now are sweating bullets and trying to find ways of faking their own deaths. Don’t fret, this is one time in your life that a lot of what needs to be said is actually pretty easy to come up with. Just write down the reasons why you fell in love with this person in the first place and then spend a little time practicing how you’re going to say it. Trust in the fact that when you’re in the middle of proposing, and the other person knows it’s a proposal, AND ITS COMING FROM THE HEART, you could read them the Riot Act and they would be filled with tears of joy!
Don’t Obsess About The Ring
I know that this sounds like sacrilege, but it’s true. We live in a modern world with modern people. What I mean by this, is that the most important thing about the proposal IS the proposal and the life-long commitment that you are offering DON’T FORGET THAT! A ring is something that you can go and pick out together after the fact and will allow your better half the opportunity to pick out something with you that you will both love. In the meantime, a nice gesture might be to buy a “temporary ring”, something fun that at least shows that you went to the trouble of getting their ring size and also lets them know that you wanted them to experience the whole proposal experience (even if it’s not with their “forever” ring).
Don’t Propose On A Holiday Or Birthday
Seriously??? I wasn’t even going to put this in here until I started reading about scores of people who said they got proposed to on one of the above dates. Let me categorize this whole idea into one simple word, FAIL. This is a cop-out and will make what should have been your soon to be better half, better off without you! Holidays and Birthdays are already special, so choose another day to make a special day that only you and your person share and can look forward to every year. (I’m not saying standing around eating hot dogs and drinking beer on 4th of July isn’t great but really?!?!)
Make It A Surprise
I’m well aware that there are some people out there who are not the surprise types but they’re just going to have to suck it up and deal when it comes to this one. Beside, how will they be able to be upset with you about the surprise if they don’t even know its coming! I’m not saying you should hide in a room and pop out like a crazed jack-in-the-box screaming “Marry Me!!!!”, but it should be unannounced and spontaneous. Now here is the big caveat to this “rule”, if you and your significant other have never talked marriage, or have very different opinions on the matter, or you’ve only been on your 1st date for 15 minutes, maybe the surprise will be a bad one. Make sure that you more or less know that this is the right move for both of you and you have some inclination that the other person is on board also. Then, make it romantic and exciting so that when it happens they’re totally surprised, and in a good way
Make It Fun
Lastly, but not unimportant by a long shot, make it fun. If you’re miserable, hung-over, apprehensive (in a bad way), having a bad day, whatever… Don’t do it. Wait and make sure that it’s a fun, worthwhile proposal that you’re both going to enjoy. Take it from me, when I got engaged, my wife (girlfriend at the time) and I were arguing on New Year’s Eve and I decided to propose to her (the heck???). I now spend every minute of my life planning on proposing in a great way somewhere down the road when it’s time to have our vows renewed.
DON’T DO THIS, as I am constantly reminded of my folly every time we get together with friends and everyone is telling their wonderful engagement stories and then my wife looks at me like Hannibal Lecter with a nice Chianti… But you get it, have fun with it and make sure you enjoy what will certainly be one of the most memorable, scary and exciting moments of your new lives together!